Bambino or Beanie/Bean for short is one of those extremely shy cats. It breaks my heart everytime I hear the story of how he came into our lives – Marc adopted him when he was a kitten, having found him in a dumpster where he was probably thrown over by a breeder for being cross-eyed. Because of this, and being cross-eyed it’s no surprise that Beanie has trust issues. He hides from everyone and doesn’t come near anyone – AT ALL. It breaks my heart when I see him and can’t pet him or scratch his ear to show him how much I adore him. After a few years of being around Bean, I knew things had to change so he knows we love him even if he’s shy.
It's a small world afterall
Cats are territorial animals. For shy cats, most people recommend limiting the area they can be in. We didn’t want to lock Beanie in a small part of the house as we’ve done that before and he still shied away. What we did though is to limit his hiding spots. When we moved into our house we didn’t have a lot of places he can hide in – boxes and unused furniture/equipment were put away, and the guest bedroom door was always closed. While hiding spots make fearful cats feel safe, we also wanted to make sure he gets to be open enough so we can sit around and see him walk by and make him feel he doesn’t need to hide because we have no plans of just grabbing him.
Creating positive association
At the end of the day, you gotta bribe them. Treats work really well in creating a positive association. With Beanie, I started throwing the treat a few feet away so he would come over – close enough so he knows it comes from me but far away enough so he has time to run away. I would then get him to come closer by throwing the treat a little closer. Given that he’s also cross-eyed, I would put a treat down near me and start tapping the area near the treat. This way, Bean can also associate the tapping with the treat (and with me) so he would come closer.
Give them time - no touching!
This was VERY difficult for me. I just wanted to grab him, squeeze him tight and cuddle. That’s not going to work and will probably give Beanie a heart-attack. What’s important is to earn Beanie’s trust and prove that I’m not trying to grab or do anything to them, which means no touching! SO MUCH SELF-RESTRAINT I tell ya!
Bridging the gap - encouraging physical contact
Eventually, we need to get the touch in but I work this in with the treats. Once Beanie gets a little more curious waiting for treats, I drop a bit more treats on an area near me (by my leg or thigh) and I randomly scratch behind his ears or run my hand along his back to his tail. Of course, when he starts to get stressed I pull my hand back slowly – quick movements tend to scare him away so I don’t move or wait for him as long as possible. Marc and I try to talk to Beanie with a soothing voice so he gets used to our voice calling and talking to him.
So much more work
I know there’s a lot more work involved in the coming weeks and possibly, months. But, I’m all up for it. Eventually, I want to encourage him to play with us and get him comfortable enough to want to come and sit on the couch with us. Patience is key when socializing a shy (or fearful) cat. I know that sometimes it could also be one step forward and two steps backward… but we’ll get there, no matter how long it’ll take. Even if Beanie never ever gets over being shy – that’s okay too. At least he’ll know that we’re here when needed.
I’ll post some updates on this blog on how we’re doing! :)